Woot : One Day, One Deal (SM)

?Wh-where are you t-t-taking me?? Roeder stammered. They only snarled in reply. Roeder felt that if they weren?t under orders to capture him, the werewolves would?ve been thrilled to devour him. Roeder watched the shopping mall parking lot pass him by as they pulled him into a patch of overgrown ditchweed taller than Roeder himself. Before he knew it, he?d been pushed down some kind of hole hidden among the weeds. He bumped roughly onto a stone floor a moment later, tasting blood from a lower lip he?d bitten on the way down.

It was dark. Then, it wasn?t. Roeder realized that everything was cast in a very faint but unmistakeable blue glow. He looked around for a moment ? then the back of his skull exploded in pain. He never felt the two werewolves dragging his unconscious body by the arms along the cave floor, their mouths watering with repressed bloodlust.

?Prisoner! Prisoner! Wake up! Stand in Her Majesty?s presence! Bow before Lycosa ? Queen of the Werewolves!?

One of the werewolves slapped Roeder across the face while the other lifted Roeder on to his feet and gave him a shove. Groggy, off-balance, Roeder half-expected to open his eyes and see the shopping mall. But the blue glow blinded him back to reality. So intense now it filled the chamber, Roeder could hardly stand to focus on its source. And when he did, he choked with horror.

There must have been fifty nubs on the thing?s black, monstrous body, each glowing with an inscrutable symbol from the creature?s eldritch rune-tome. Roeder retched cold bile. ?Speak, maggot! How will you serve Lycosa??

?Serve? What? I don?t understand-?

?Shall I stomp your body into slop for my skele-hogs? Answer me, maggot!?

?I?ll do whatever you want. I am at your service. Your highn- uh, majesty??

?Highness is fine, too. I accept your pledge of fealty and grant you the luxury of serving me!?

Roeder sighed. He had some time to figure out how to escape. ?Awesome.?

?You shall be my man-bride, available to pleasure me at my will, until my whims dictate that I rend your flesh into bite-sized wads and use your pulpy remains to fertilize my homegrown. Is THAT clear??

?OK, but you?re going to have to explain how to pleasure you. I?ve never gotten busy with a keyboard before.?

?It?s simple. Just play me.?

?Play you? You mean -?

?Yes. Use me to control your PC gaming. Pound my backlit keys. Exploit my Hyperesponse technology. Explore my TouchPanel easy access media keys. And I can handle up to 10 customizable software profiles, so use me in any PC game you want.?

?Any game I want??

?Yeah, I keep an updated library of games on hand just for my man-brides. I?m on every major company?s promo list ? the industry is like half werewolf. Without us, they?d never ship a single game.?

?Well, your majesty, and your highness, if I must serve, I must.?

Warranty: 90 Day Razer

Features:

• Backlight Illumination with WASD cluster lighting option
• With the right keys lit up, you can always be sure of your next move
• Keytop with non-slip rubber finish
• Fully-programmable keys with macro capability
• Slim keycap structure with Hyperesponse? technology
• TouchPanel? easy access media keys
• Gaming mode option for deactivation of the Windows key
• 10 customizable software profiles with on-the-fly switching
• 1000Hz Ultrapolling? / 1ms response time
• Earphone-out and microphone-in jacks
• Detachable wrist rest
• One integrated USB extension port
• Approximate size: * 469mm (length) x 168mm (width) x 15mm (height) ? without wrist rest; 469mm (length) x 221mm (width) x 15mm (height) ? with wrist rest

• Lighted Keys
• Left Profile
• USB Port/Headphone and Microphone Jacks

• Razer Lycosa Gaming Keyboard